We Just Can't Qualify (Latvian Lament)

Here's one of those blog posts from my unpublished backlog which has been hanging around since May, so it may not be all that topical any more, but it's still relevant! After "Estonia" from earlier this year, I've now turned my attention to its Baltic neighbour, with a little ditty to be sung to the tune of "Cake to Bake".

"We Just Can't Qualify" (Latvian Lament)

We made our debut in the Stockholm Globe
With Brainstorm at their best
Since that time we sent a few decent songs
(but forget some of the rest)

We sent acapella and opera too
And the pirates of the sea
And we even managed to win in 2002
And host in 2003

But today....

We just can't qualify, we've got no clue at all
We used to qualify, we used to do that before
What's the reason why we've blown it
Even Mr God don't know it
How to qual, how to qual, qualify.

Sem-sem, sem-semi final, sem-sem-sem, sem-semi final
Sem-sem, sem-semi final, sem-sem-sem

After Marie N won in 2002
With her cross-dressing Latin dance
We said hello from Mars with an all-star band
But we never stood a chance
We tried lots of versatile languages
We tried singing in Russian and English
And guess what - we even sung in Latvian! - but that was just an epic fail.

And today

We just can't qualify, we've got no clue at all
We used to qualify, we used to do that before
Why do all you voters hurt us
Even the "Baltic bloc" deserts us
Now we can't, now we can't, qualify!

We just can't qualify, we've got no clue at all
We used to qualify, we used to do that before
How can we become world-beaters?
Send a Latvian Conchita?
Cause we must, now we must, qualify!
Please come back, Latvia, and qualify :)